If you are in crisis, call or text 988. You can also reach Postpartum Support International at 1-800-944-4773, or text HOME to 741741.
October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you have lost a pregnancy or a baby, a pregnancy and infant loss support group is a small gathering, in person or online, where people who have been through the same kind of loss talk it through together. That is the short version. The longer version is what this page is for. In my work as a clinical social worker, the thing I hear most from bereaved parents is not that they want advice. It is that they are worn out from explaining. A group is a room where you get to skip the backstory.
When it is, and why the day matters
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day falls on October 15 every year. It sits inside Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, which is October in the United States. A lot of families mark the evening with the Wave of Light: you light a candle at 7 p.m. in your own time zone, and the idea is that candles stay lit around the world for 24 hours straight.
The day matters because this kind of loss is common and quiet at the same time. Roughly 10 to 15 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and the true number is higher once you count losses that happen before anyone knew (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 2018). In the United States, about 1 in every 175 births ends in stillbirth, which comes to roughly 21,000 babies a year (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024). Folks carry that mostly in private. One day on the calendar says out loud that it happened, and that it counts.
What does the research say about loss and mental health?
Here is the honest version. The grief is well documented. The specific research on grief groups is thinner than I wish it were, and I would rather tell you that than pretend otherwise.
On the grief itself, the numbers are hard to look at and worth knowing. In a prospective study of 737 women following early pregnancy loss, 29 percent met criteria for post-traumatic stress one month later, and 24 percent had moderate to severe anxiety. Nine months on, 18 percent still met the post-traumatic stress threshold (Farren et al., 2020). So this is not something most people simply shake off in a few weeks. A follow-up from the same team found that partners grieve too, at lower but real rates, which tracks with what I see: the person who was not pregnant often gets treated as the support staff and quietly falls apart on their own (Farren et al., 2021).
On groups specifically, a Cochrane review of support after perinatal death found the evidence base small and the studies few, which means we cannot claim a group will lower your depression score by some tidy amount (Koopmans et al., 2013). What we can say, from the broader literature on bereavement and from decades of clinical practice, is that being with people who get it tends to ease the isolation that makes grief heavier. Shared experience is not a cure. It is company. For a lot of parents, company is the thing that was missing.
Groups for pregnancy and infant loss in our directory
The Group Guide is a free directory. You can browse pregnancy and infant loss groups and reach the group leader directly, no account needed. Because this loss overlaps with so much else, two nearby searches are worth a look: grief support groups for the loss piece, and depression support groups if the weeks after have flattened into something that is not lifting. Many parents also find a fit in women’s support groups, though loss is not only a woman’s grief, and good groups make room for partners and dads.
Groups come in a few shapes. Some are peer-led, run by parents who have walked it. Some are clinician-led, meaning a licensed therapist guides the room. Some are loss-specific: miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss, loss after infertility, termination for medical reasons. That specificity helps more than you would think. Sitting with people whose loss looks like yours means fewer moments of biting your tongue.
How do you choose a pregnancy loss support group?
Start with format. In person gives you presence and a hug if you want one. Online gives you a group at 9 p.m. in your pajamas when leaving the house is not happening. Neither is better. They are better for different weeks.
- Ask who runs it. A peer facilitator and a licensed clinician offer different things, and the listing should tell you which you are getting.
- Ask how specific it is. A group for stillbirth and neonatal loss will feel different from a general grief group. Match it to your loss where you can.
- Ask about the shape of a meeting. Open sharing, a topic each week, a set number of sessions. There is no right answer, only the one that fits you.
- Give it two or three meetings before you decide. The first night of any group is the hardest, and it is a bad night to judge the whole thing on.
If you want a fuller walkthrough, we wrote one: how to vet a support group before you join. And if a group does not feel right, that is information, not failure. Try another. People do this all the time.
Other resources
- If you are in crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is free and runs 24 hours a day.
- Postpartum Support International runs loss and bereavement support and a helpline at 1-800-944-4773.
- Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support offers groups, resources, and remembrance events.
- Star Legacy Foundation focuses on stillbirth and neonatal death, including support and research.
Frequently asked questions
Is a support group the same as therapy?
No. A support group is shared experience, often peer-led, and it is about being with others who understand. Therapy is treatment with a licensed clinician working on your specific goals. Many parents use both, and the two do different jobs. If your grief has turned into something that feels stuck, unsafe, or impossible to function around, therapy is the piece to add, and a group can sit alongside it.
Can my partner come with me?
Often, yes, though it depends on the group. Some welcome couples, some are for the birthing parent, some are just for dads and partners. Check the listing or ask the leader before you go. Partners grieve on their own timeline, and a group built for them can matter as much as one built for you.
How soon after a loss should I join a group?
There is no clock on this. Some people want a room full of others within days. Some are not ready for months, and that is fine too. A group will still be there when you are. If you are unsure, an online group can be a gentler first step because you can listen before you speak.
Are these groups free?
Many are, especially peer-led and hospital-based groups and those run by nonprofits like Share and Postpartum Support International. Browsing our directory is always free. Clinician-led groups may charge a fee, and some take insurance. The listing will say, and you can ask the leader directly.
What if I lost a pregnancy a long time ago?
You still belong in these rooms. Grief does not expire. I have sat with parents grieving a loss from twenty years back, often stirred up by an anniversary, a due date, or a sibling’s pregnancy. Older loss is welcome, and a remembrance day like October 15 is often when people finally reach out.
A note on what we do (and don’t)
The Group Guide is a directory. Group leaders write their own listings, and we do not vet, supervise, or endorse the groups listed here. We are not a clinic and we do not provide clinical services or guarantee outcomes, that is the group’s work, not ours. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.
References
- American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2018). Early pregnancy loss (Practice Bulletin No. 200). Obstetrics & Gynecology, 132(5), e197 to e207.
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). What is stillbirth? National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities.
- Farren, J., Jalmbrant, M., Falconieri, N., Mitchell-Jones, N., Bobdiwala, S., Al-Memar, M., . . . Bourne, T. (2020). Posttraumatic stress, anxiety and depression following miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy: A multicenter, prospective, cohort study. American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology, 222(4), 367.e1 to 367.e22.
- Farren, J., Bourne, T., Jalmbrant, M., et al. (2021). Differences in post-traumatic stress, anxiety and depression following miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy between women and their partners: A multicenter prospective cohort study. Ultrasound in Obstetrics & Gynecology, 57(1), 141 to 148.
- Koopmans, L., Wilson, T., Cacciatore, J., & Flenady, V. (2013). Support for mothers, fathers and families after perinatal death. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (6), CD000452.